Reality Bites

As the fall lineup of new shows get closer, I realize more and more how pathetic our society is getting about trash TV.   And I’m not innocent in the matter.  Whether it’s out of boredom or utter disbelief that people will do anything to get on TV, I watch my fair share of reality crap.    But I’ve started realizing how it’s starting to affect people’s perception of work and finding love.   Because of the useless “talent” of Kim Kardashian and Snookie, our youngest generation is now wondering if their dream should be to attain a reality show rather than go to college and get a real job.   And what’s worse- they are getting rewarded for it.   Not only does Snookie get a ridiculous amount of money, she has “written” a book, “designed” shoes and “acts” on commercials.     

And take the reality “love” show The Bachelorette.  One of the most recent scandals is that a male contest, Bentley, intentionally deceived the show’s star Ashley.  To Ashley, he was sweet and tried to win her over.  But to the cameras?   He called her names and said he was out to hurt her.   While no one will ever know what his true intentions were, it’s clear that he was not out to find love.  Perhaps that his name is Bentley should have been an indication that he is vain and wants the finer things in life.

Reality- it can sure bite.

The Sue Heck Syndrome

As I continue to interview and apply for jobs, I try to stay optimistic.  But it’s hard.   And I’ve started to wonder- is there a point where you give up?  Or do you continue to just smile and keep trying?

I’ve always respected people that not only fall down, but get up even though they have scraped and bleeding knees.   This reminds me of the fictional character Sue Heck from the hit comedy “The Middle.”   Sue isn’t good at very much.  The only sport she has ever made is track because they let anyone on the team.   And as far as trophies- her one and only is for having perfect attendance.  But she keeps smiling.   Is that to be admired even though she is ignorant and doesn’t realize she stands a chance?

Am I a version of Sue Heck as I look to find the right career?   And if so, is that something to be admired?

The Gambling Waitress

 As I wrap up another exhausting week of waiting tables, I’ve realized that a lot of servers are similar to gamblers.  Waiting tables can sometimes have a great payoff.   I once had a lady on Christmas Eve leave me a thirty dollar tip on a bill that was thirty dollars!   But waitressing has risks and sometimes you not only make crappy tips, but lose money.  Let me explain.   At one restaurant I worked at, a server was required to “tip out” bartenders and hosts/hostesses a percentage of their sales.   So if you have a couple of tables that stiff you, you are still required to pay the “tip out.”   That means that you are actually losing money!   Another place I worked at, you weren’t required to give any of your tip money to other co-workers.   But here’s the risk.   If you’re too cheap to fork out five dollars at the end of the night, a busboy can make your life a living hell.  They will bus the tables first of the servers they know are going to take care of them. 

      One gamble servers often make is whether or not to take a guaranteed gratuity on large tables.  Most restaurants have a rule that a server can add an automatic gratuity on tables of eight or larger.  The consensus from many co-workers is that they would rather not take the guarantee and chance if they will make more money by going with the traditional tip.  Sometimes it pays off.  Other times you are horribly disappointed.   The worst insult a customer can do is leave change.  That is deliberate- and sending a direct message to the server-you suck!   A server can at least comfort themselves when there is no tip by telling themselves that the person just forgot.

Hmm… maybe servers need to start attending gamblers anonymous??! 

The Low Talker

As my wedding anniversary approaches, I started thinking about how much marriage encompasses the qualities of both love and work.   As much as my husband and I love each other, sometimes I think we make it our mission to annoy each other.  I have repeatedly told him that I hate the animal abuse commercial that has the Sarah McLaughlin song crooning in the background.   His response?  Get over it- the game is coming back on and I don’t want to miss the score.  My retaliation?   I’ve discovered that if the napkin holder is not pushed up exactly against the counter, he has to fix it.   So if I’m having a day where I want to aggravate him, I’ll pull it out, wait for him to fix it and then repeat.

My husband likes to be more creative.   Case in point- the margarita bucket.   I bought a margarita mix that came with recipe instructions printed on the bucket.   One day I went to put something away and the mix was in the cabinet with no bucket.   Do you know where I found it?   By the pool area holding chemicals.   Apparently, there were no other options in the house.   So if I invite you over for margaritas and you wonder why I’m going to the pool to make them, you now know.

One thing my husband has been inflicted with is low talking syndrome.  (This really shouldn’t be a surprise since he also has deaf man syndrome).    I believe he is a distance relative of the low talker on Seinfeld.   This has caused many misunderstandings over the years although to my knowledge I haven’t agreed yet to wear a puffy shirt.   It usually goes something like this.  ‘What would you like for dinner?’    Mumble Mumble.   ‘What did you say?’   Slightly louder mumble mumble.   By the third take, I’ve given up and then he claims he told me that he wanted tacos for dinner so how come we’re not having them?

Marriage- it’s both love and work.   Oh and by the way- the margarita bucket has a new home.  It’s now under the kitchen sink with sponges in it.